A psychologist, story teller, professor and songwriter

I wrote this song the evening after my 6 year old daughter Anna questioned me about God.  Her mother and I share a similar view that religion is an awkward construct that can get in the way of knowing God.  We both embrace the ideals of the Dalai Lama, "There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."  How do I explain that to a 6 year old?  I asked her if she recognized the good feeling that she experienced when she is kind to others.  She knowingly answered, "yes." I said, that is God.  I wanted my children to know that God lives in all of us and that perhaps we all are God.  Thirty years later, I believe this more than ever.    

Some People 

Some people think that’s God’s in the sky; looking down at people way up high.

Maybe embodied in just some guy; thinking that God’s some guy.

My God doesn’t play hide-go-seek; my God’s not even a man.

If you want to find God look deep inside and love the best that you can . Love the best that you can.

Some people think that’s love’s unreal; they look at life with disdain

They build a wall around their broken hearts; trying to block out all the pain.

I know if you open your heart; your mind will open up too

Turning into somebody warm and smart

Feeling is what you should do; Feeling is what you should do.

Chorus

I don’t know where we’re going; or how near or how far

I just know you gotta to be one with love if you want to know who you are

Want to know who you are

Some people live like the sun’s always out; they never show any doubt

They walk around each other with a great big smile; hiding the tears that are in their eyes

I know that you got to be brave; honest open and true. 

If you want to happy like me give you a clue;

You got to be open to feeling the blues; you got to open to feeling the blues.

Chorus

Don't you think we need a Buddhist Country Folk song that captures Einstein and Hawkin's  theory of relativity and time?  This song confronts a daunting reality; time isn't really real. That's why I am always late..or maybe early.  Who knows?

So Remember The Future   

Einstein and Hawking said time isn’t real. I guess I kind of knew that. 

I suppose it’s how you feel.  

But wait a minute. That means flash forwards can happen. (Not just flashbacks.) 

If all of that is true. Everything has happened. Worrying will only make us blue.

CHORUS

So remember the future. And don’t forget the past. 

Let’s live in in the present. It’s a big bang blast

Time seems to drag on, when I want it to go fast.  

But when I am with you. I want to make it last.

CHORUS

Gimme some of your medicine; I don’t wanna be blue.

Worrying about time. I’d rather be here with you.

CHORUS

So time isn’t real. I read it in the Book of Dao 

So give some of the real stuff. I want to live in the now.

So remember the future. And don’t forget the past. 

Let’s live in in the present. It’s a big bang blast

I’ll love you forever. On this I won’t bend. Did I really say that? I only meant it then.

CHORUS x2

We have invisible self saboteurs that compete with how we want to be and how we think of ourselves.  Some call it the unconscious.  C.G. Jung said it best, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”  I love Jung!  And I love my beloved Carola who brought out my shadows and light more than any other person I have ever known!  I am forever grateful to her.

My Crazy Shadows  

My crazy shadows got a hold of me; 

My crazy shadows, just when I thought I was free 

Trying to be good; doing what you think I should 

Now I’m lonely in this land of the misunderstood 

My crazy shadows, it’s hard to explain

One day sunny, now it rains

Feeling so happy, too good to be true

Then My crazy shadows make me feel so blue

Then my anger pushes you away

Hiding my tears, and need for you to stay

My crazy shadows, got a hold of me

My crazy shadows, just when I thought I was free 

Trying to find my loving heart; these shadows make me hide

I’M being held hostage by these fears inside 

Then you wonder how I can be so kind; you turn around and then I change my mind.

My crazy shadows, well I guess you are alright

My crazy shadows, help me find my love light, (love light, love light) tonight  

My cynicism is on display when I wrote this song.  I always thought this had "Klezmer" (Jewish sounding music) seasoning all over it.  Dave Nachmanoff's violin and accordion and Kimberly Shires' clarinet made this song come alive.  I am forever grateful to them.    

100 Billion Brain Cells  

A 100 billion brain cells may sound like a lot, but if you look around, you’ll see that they’re not

We use them up so quickly on things that are wrong. Like listening to this crazy song.

100 billion brain cells. 100 billion brain cells. That’s what we get when we are born.

100 billion brain cells. 100 billion brain cells. We’re all babies free of scorn.

Then we go to kindergarten. Teachers giving us lots of crap. Telling us to draw within the lines.

“Be like the crowd. Don’t play so loud.” Our souls are dying on the vine.

50 billion brain cells, 50 billion brain cells. Doesn’t take us long to become fools.

50 billion brain cells, 50 billion brain cells. They make us follow all the rules.

Off we go to high school. Trying to act real cool. Hiding our thoughts inside our head.

Being told that what you feel is not what is really real. Brain cells are quickly going dead.

Only 2 million brain cells, 2 million brain cells. Now I’m walking in a trance. 

2 million brain cells, 2 million brain cells. I never really stood a chance.

Now I’m working 8 to 5. Wondering if I’m alive. Two jobs, it really is a pain.

Even though my days are grey. I’ll have off two weeks with pay. 

Oh Lord. I’m going down the drain.

Now I’m ready not to work. Feeling like a big fat jerk. I have my Roths and IRAs 

Too bad I can’t use it. My body, I will lose it, to the perils of old age.

Now I have 100 brain cells, 100 hundred brain cells. I feel like I am fading fast.

100 brain cells, 100 hundred brain cells. Pretending we will always last.

Down to 50 brain cells, 40 brain cells, 20 brain cells, 7 brain cells?

As I was watching on TV the 36 million people protesting the invasion of Iraq in 2003, I decided to write perhaps the  first "doo wop" protest song. So many of our brave warriors died or came home broken.  Almost 500,000 civilians lost their lives.  We were looking for weapons of mass destruction that were not there.  Our so called "enemies" are often only "enemies" in our minds.    Thank you Frank "Dr. Doo Wop" Fox for your invaluable contribution and background vocals.

Crazy, Hazy and Lazy  

Everybody’s going crazy; and their vision seems so hazy

I just wanna be lazy here with you. Here with you.

Seems like everybody’s going mad.  And it makes me feel very sad.

Cause the kids have a right to live here too. To live here too.

They’ll kill us for what they think is right; for Allah, God or Jesus Christ.

Bombing us both day and night; Forgetting that you are me and I am you.

Pray to God to keep us safe and warm; keep us from these awful storms

Please protect us from those who follow you. Follow you.

Everybody’s going crazy; and their vision seems so hazy

I just want to be lazy here with you. Here with you. 

This song is inspired by my fervent belief that it takes an enormous amount of energy to deny our interdependency and realization that we are all ONE.  Living this myth of "separateness" creates such  intense global and individual pain.   The COVID-19 crisis is another tangible reminder of the folly of such living and thinking.  I look forward to our wakening of a new morn.

Bring A New Morn

So many broken people; their spirits have gone to sleep

So many eyes stare vacantly; they used to go very deep

I have a friend who lives in a trance; all of his feelings gone dim

He used to be the eyes of love; what did life do to him?

Maybe it’s the time we live in; maybe things just don’t stay the same

But when did they take our voices yeh, leaving us with sorrow and shame?

I don’t want to live with suspicion; Afraid that life will come to an end

I want to live with an open heart; never denying my friends

This is our darkest hour; it’s always that way before dawn

Let’s come awake to our senses, yeh, celebrate a new morn

Let’s not hurt each other; it’s someone else’s crazy game

We are more than sisters and brothers; we are all one and the same

Cause when you hurt me you hurt yourself; 

both of us are left to bleed

When you find the love that’s in your heart; don’t you know that’s all you need

We may all have different Gods; some say Shalom or Salom 

Doesn’t mean we can’t repair the world; some call that Tikum Alom

With our light we can bring a new dawn If we open up our hearts with love

With our light we can bring a new dawn.

This song was inspired by my beautiful and wonderful niece, Miriam, and her kind, wise and loving husband, Ian.   They found each other later in their lives.  It is never too late late to fall in love!

Autumn of Our Years

It’s amazing to find each other  After all of these Years

We both had peace within After oh so many tears

But When I found you, I found the best part of myself

I’m so glad we met,  in the autumn of our years.

I gave up on finding love 

my life seemed so  complete

with occasional  loneliness

which made ME bittersweet

It’s not like I was looking   I was done with all my tears

I’m so glad we met, in the autumn of our years.

The road we took to get here I will never regret

The speed bumps and the harshness make me want to forget

That love is what I follow in spite of all my fears

I’m so glad we met, in the autumn of our years.

When you weren’t looking, I saw this smile upon your face 

Your eyes caught me staring then we embraced.

Honey, Let’s  enjoy the moment without any fears

Let’s be glad we met  in the autumn of our years.

The road we took to get here I will never regret

The speed bumps and the harshness makes me want to forget

That love is what I follow in spite of all my fears

I’m so glad we met in the autumn of our years.I’m so glad we met in the autumn of our years.

I’m so glad we met in the autumn of our years.  

My 47 years of listening carefully to people's inner journeys inspired this song.  When asked where dreams come from, I remind them that they are the creators of their dreams.  We dream (create) a "story" at night that often reflects the inner turmoil, wishes and wisdom of our inner self.  Early on in my career, I wondered if that's exactly what we do with our "waking" world.  Just as we are not conscious of the "dramas" we create in our "sleep dream" world, perhaps we are not aware of the "stories" we create in our awake dream world.  I often wonder if enlightenment is realizing that we are the dreamer and the dream.

PS  I am honored that you are in my waking dream and that I am in yours.

The Dream and The Dreamer

I know that love is out there; I see it every day.

But it always seems to escape me; when I think it comes my way

Maybe I hold on to tight; maybe not enough

Maybe, I’m just too nice to you; maybe I’m too tough.

And just when I thought that love was not for me

You came into my life and now I can see

Maybe I was always right; that I knew from the start

In order to know love, you got to open up your heart

I’ve lost more than you will ever know; I thought love was at an end

Then I woke up to what’s really real; the rest is just pretend

So, you know I stopped my crying; I dried away those tears

Loving is accepting; let go of the anger and the fears

CHORUS

All I know that life’s a dream and I try not to be a schemer

But it’s hard to tell who’s the dream and what is the dreamer

I know my path leads to you in some magical way;

I know you don’t believe that, well then I hope our luck just stays.

But when you are here with me, I feel this love inside

I don’t want to run; I don’t to hide

I don’t want to be addicted to this crazy thing called hope

I would rather have faith with what is, that’s the way I cope.

Accepting how life unfolds; being open to all of my senses

Amazed with how my  life just goes; and amused by the coincidences

CHORUS

Accepting how life unfolds; being open to all of my senses

Amazed with how my life just goes; and amused by the coincidences

CHORUS

I came to Madison in 1973 to pursue my Ph.D. in psychology.  I thought Madison would be the stepping stone that would catapult me to the West Coast; it never happened.  This song captures my ambivalence about MadCity.  

PS  My daughters both live in Portland, OR.

Ode To Madison  

Oh the cold north winds will it ever end (will it ever end)

Makes me feel so alone and without a friend (all alone and without a friend)

But the snow keeps coming makes the city seem new

Tryin’ to find my center chasin’ away my blues

Madison, I guess I love you.

Isn’t it too cold Madison? 

The winter air just goes on and on (and on and on and on)

But I know if I go, the winter will break

Bringing pretty flowers and melting the lake

Madison, I guess I’ll stay

The energy of the city calls all night (all night, all night, all night)

Warming my heart and I know it’s all right (it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right)

Cause I’m here in Mad town, the city of lakes; Spring air soothes me, no more heart aches

Madison, I love you so.

Have you ever fallen in love without a care (without a care)

Hanging down on State Street cruising the square (all four sides of the square)

Doing the music ‘till you get it right, finding a coffee that’ll keeps you up all night

Madison, I guess you’re all right

Loving  (loving, loving) is a hard thing to do (is a hard thing to do!)

Sometimes (sometimes, sometimes), it just gives you the blues (just gives you the blues)

Even in a town that thinks it’s so smart

People still love and have broking hearts

Madison don’t let the cynics get you down. 

Carola, my beloved, recovered from a year long battle with breast cancer that rattled our souls.  For over 20 years, we raised our kids, became grandparents, loved, laughed, cried, argued, made up and more often then I want to admit, took each other for granted.  This is my song.  Actually, it is really our song.  I dedicate this song to anyone who knows what I am talking about.

When One of Us Is Gone  

And when you get all better and the pain fades away

We’ll take each other for granted; fight about stupid things all day

CHORUS

And all of these distractions, help us to hold on

Forgetting how the tears will flow, when one of us is gone; when one of us is gone

A cold and wintery day, she said come home quickly please

She got the diagnosis, it brought me to my knees.

We gave each other comfort and held on oh so tight

“We’ll get through this together” I hoped that I was right. I hoped that I was right

CHORUS

We don’t live forever, it’s a fact that we ignore

But now we’ve been reminded to love each other more; to love each other more

And all of these distractions, help us to hold on

Forgetting how the tears will flow, when one of us is gone; when one of us is gone

I love you even more

Sometimes a song finds you.  I wrote this many years ago before I really understood what it meant; art is like that sometimes.  For me, when love is a verb it is about accepting all that is.  When we love, we are curious and accepting about the intangible essence of who we are; even if that person is doing something that causes others pain.  Often, the pain that they cause comes from their invisible pain.  Our reptilian brain wants to latch out.  And yet, when all is said and done, our invisible and hurting selves want to be seen and loved.

Only Love Is Real

  Hanging on to an illusion; thinking I’m as strong as steel

Finding out once again Only Love Is Real Only Love Is Real

Only Love Is Real (Only Love Is Real) Only Love Is Real (Only Love Is Real) 

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Hang on, hang on. To what you think you feel. 

Someday you’ll wake up and find that  Only Love Is Real Only Love Is Real 

Only Love Is Real (Only Love Is Real) Only Love Is Real (Only Love Is Real) Only Love Is Real 

(Only Love Is Real) Only Love Is Real   (Only Love Is Real) 

Ooh Ooh Why do I forget? And look for things outside

Forgetting that all I need is really deep inside. Because

Only Love Is Real (Only Love Is Real) Only Love Is Real (Only Love Is Real) Only Love Is Real 

(Only Love Is Real) Only Love Is Real Only Love is Real) 

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Only Love Is Real (Only Love Is Real) x 13

Only Love Is Real 

Every once in awhile you meet someone who really 'sees' you.   When that happens, you are forever transformed.  This project could not have happened without the synergy of my producer, amazing friend, mentor and musician of almost all of the music on this CD.  He magically captured how I heard my songs. I will forever be touched by the experience of working on my songs at NachVille Recording Studio in Davis, California.  

I remember one time sitting at his table sharing the origins of my songs; they came from my heart.  I became 'ferklempt' and noticed Dave becoming a bit wet eyed also.  The awkwardness was interrupted by Dave declaring, 'We should get back to the music.'   I answered. 'What are you talking about?  This is the music!'  He got it!

I hope every songwriter who wants to hear their music come alive has the opportunity to work with Dave Nachmanoff  (davenach.com)